Saturday, July 29, 2006

It's a Gut Feeling - Finding love


Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings, afternoons and evenings have a routine they are comfortable with and rarely will they go beyond the boundaries of that routine. Even a single guys loneliness can become his norm and if someone crosses his path that interest him, he rationalizes instead of trying to adapt.

Many times this leads to confusion he just isnt sure if she is the one. He over thinks, he pauses, rewinds, goes forward until nothing makes sense about being involved. Soon he is back to his comfortable routine of drinking beer and watching football on Sunday. The loneliness he feels wont go away and after many beer drinking Sundays, he may try to fill that emptiness again. But just like before, he soon feels he is out of his comfort zone and the story repeats itself. After awhile, he is asking himself, how do I find love?

This problem persist because he wants the girl to instantly fit into his comfort zone. At first, when he sees her, he is excited and this is enough to keep the relationship alive. In time the ladys personality and feelings make him over think the relationship and the excitement dissipates. At one time it was exciting, but it loses its luster as the relationship moves forward especially when the ladys discussion involves changes in his life. He feels the pressure and wants out. Soon, he is back to filling his emptiness with beer and Sunday afternoon football.

You see ladies, guys dont have the same type of instinct as you do and dont easily trust intuitive feelings. Hell over think whats in his heart, especially if he feels the only way he can love you is for him to make major changes in his life (they may not be major to you, but to him missing a Sunday afternoon of football may seem worse than going through hurricane Ivan). The gap will widen until it is beyond closing, no matter how he may truly feel about you. Whatever he felt at first now rest in a place that has no understanding of intuition. It may still be there, but buried in a cluster of confusion. What can you do ladies? Not much, except maybe back off a little. What can you do guys? Dont think about it trust your gut feeling.

I just got done saying that a guys feelings may be buried in confusion. What a man doesnt realize that this is what separate men from womens intuition. What we interrupt as confusion, a lady calls intuition and has complete trust in those feelings no matter how chaotic it may seem. In other words, guys, they go with the flow. We will fight it, we will rationalize it, we will try to hide it with alcohol, cover it with masculine bravo, but instead, we should listen to it. Dont run, dont hide, just let it be and let it take its course. Scary, thought, isnt it, guys? But if you are tired of the merry-go-round of emptiness you may want to give it a chance.

I know some of you guys are still looking for clarity, so here goes. Our visual instincts are in tune when we first see a lady. All she needs to do is give us a little sign of encouragement and our hormones are in high gear. We dont think beyond the moment, care about house payments or closet space, our eyes see what we like, a signal says it is ok to like what we see and we are in heaven. Simple! Now lets move ahead where the lady starts thinking about how life would be beyond the weekend movie, sexual encounters and the occasional dinner together. She wants more. If you fight it, she is gone, so you let the door open. She is in with some feelings you thought you could handle it, but now you seem to be reacting to her feelings. Is this bad, guys, that you are reacting to her feelings?

We seem to interrupt a reaction, even if it is a positive one, as being bad. At this stage we begin the debate between what we feel and what we know. We know we like to watch foot ball, but how will my feelings change me being able to watch football on Sunday? (I know ladies, you just cant believe its that hard to decide between football and love, but for guys, it can be). When there is a debate between our head and our heart, ladies, the head usually wins. What Im telling guys, if what you feel inside is positive, dont cloud it with other possible scenarios. Let it flow trust that what you feel inside can be a positive in all aspects of your life. But for now, dont think, just be.

Guys, Im not saying that in time you may realize that she is not right for you and shouldnt get out, but what I am saying is we usually kill the chance to find out before we let time take its course. Usually, we over think our reactions until the only reaction left is we feel she is an intrusion in our life. Than shes gone and the loneliness comes back another Sunday, another 6 pack or two of beer and you are getting older, lonelier and maybe, just maybe, wiser.

I say wiser because I think younger guys fit the above sort better than an older gent. As a guy gets older, he may realize not to react so quickly, but trust that what he feels may actually enhance other aspects of his life. This is why a lot of younger Filipina ladies like older men. To them, older men are more settled, accepting and willing.

Obviously, guys have met a lady and after the first date knew she wasnt the one. Even then a guy will call it a mistake rather than a gut feeling. Hell say something like, I dont know what I saw in her, but man she isnt for me. It is when it goes beyond the first date and his gut has already said, man she is the one that he will start to talk himself out of any involvement when the lady wants a little more than the two of them getting together on Friday and Saturday nights. Im telling you guys, trust that initial feeling, let the confusion in, dont fight it and give it time. You may find that you can still watch your football game on Sundays while she is nibbling on your ear.

Thats it, short and sweet. Guys, if you feel she is the one after a date or two, trust your gut feeling and dont talk yourself out of it. There is more to life than Sunday afternoon football. There is Monday night football also. Just kidding, smile, let what you feel be your guide and forget thinking too hard about how those feelings may change your life. Let it flow and let her love you.

Choosing Gifts For Guys!


Gifts for guys. What is the right gift for that man in your life? That can be a real dilemma for a woman. After all, what is it that a man wants? What gift would be right for him? In some way's finding gifts for guys can be easy. After all, it's assumed that men are easy to buy for if it has to do with a car or if it's electronic, with lots of bells and whistles etc. But, if your man has a little for depth to him than that, if he likes to read thoughtful books and is a contemplative thinker, you may not be too sure what he'll like. You do know though, that if it's a tie or something boring like a wool cap, he'll be polite and say thanks, but the truth is he may not like it.

When deciding on a Gift For your Guy, why not consider a fragrance especially for him.

You want to add that personal, special touch when selecting gifts for the men in your life don't you? Then consider buying him a quality fragrance that highlights and enhances his masculinity. Traditionally musk has been thought of as just the right blend of rugged manliness and outdoor freshness. You know what I mean. It just makes a man very attractive and interesting. Well, every man likes to feel attractive and knowing that you selected a special cologne just for him, will make him think of you and your thoughtfulness every time he splashes it on. Nowadays even the purest, most concentrated colognes and after-shaves can be purchased on the internet at reasonable prices, and you are sure to find just the right fragrance when looking at gifts for guys.